Montana-based biotech firm Duocaine is raising awareness of a rare genetic disease the only way they know how: by creating shareholder value.

“The MacGregor market is ripe for disruption.” says Duocaine CEO Geoffrey Radcliffe. “There’s been a lot of buzz about it, but not a lot of awareness. We’re hoping to change that with Ephemerol.”

Ephemerol is a revolutionary new treatment for MacGregor Syndrome, a chronic build up of fluid in the lungs. There are currently about 300,000 patients with MacGregor Syndrome in the United States and studies show Ephemerol could increase the median survival age for the to 50 years old. “If that’s not worth a bonus in the low 8 figures, I don’t know what is”, says Radcliffe.

The current market price of Ephemerol is around $400,000 a year, though a complex system of discounts and rebates mean that insurers can pay far less. But that doesn’t mean they’re happy about the cost.

“I think what they’re doing is plain and simple price gouging. They’re going to bleed the whole system dry”, said Wilfred Glendon, CEO of Mariphasa Insurance Group, taking a break from trying to use genetic markers to define cancer as a pre-existing condition with sitting atop a literal ivory tower. “People are marching in the streets to get insurance approval for this drug, but where are the marches asking Duocaine to lower the price?”

“We find that most patients respect the high cost of innovation,” counters Radcliffe while in a showroom buying 3 BMWs he plans to hitch together so he can legally receive a tax break intended for mass transit systems. “Ephemerol is a premium product with premium pricing. If the market demands it, we may look into a feature reduced low cost model, but I’m not sure I’d want to quantify someone’s suffering like that.”

As of this writing the two men had entered preliminary discussions to settle their differences by racing gold-plated, jet-fueled, dolphin-shaped waterskis around Glendon’s private island.