This is chapter 2–“Hi, My Name is Jay and I Have Cystic Fibrosis.”–of the audiobook version of Can’t Eat, Can’t Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis Has F#$%*d Me. I would’ve posted chapter 1, but it turns out that I don’t mention Cystic Fibrosis in it.
If you enjoy this bit, feel free to pick up the rest of it here.
Have you ever wanted to take a three and a half hour car ride where I do nothing but complain about my lungs? Well, you’re in luck! Can’t Eat, Can’t Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis has F#$%*d Me is now available in audiobook format on audible.com. I worked hard to make sure I read the absolute shit out of this book, so check it out if you get a chance. You can get it free with a 30 day free trial of Audible!
This could’ve just as easily been the cover of a collection of heartfelt songs about my mucus. Count yourself lucky that it’s not.
I swear that was broken when I got there.
My book is now available on Amazon in both print and Kindle formats, with an audiobook version hitting sometime later this month. Like this blog, it’s called Can’t Eat, Can’t Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis Has F#$%*d Me. It’s about how Cystic Fibrosis has fucked me. Continue reading
Hi, my name is Jay and I have Cystic Fibrosis.
I hate that sentence, so I’ve been forcing myself to use it. I’ve never hid the disease, but I haven’t talked about it a lot either.
I’m not so much reluctant to talk about CF as I am ignorant of how to talk about it. One wrong turn and you’ve ended up at a melodramatic pity party; I don’t care for parties, pity or otherwise. Go the other way and you’ve made yourself sound like an inspirational champion. I assure you that would be incorrect.
I recently turned 30, which has a lot to do with my newfound need to share. Being that the median life expectancy for individuals with CF is somewhere in the mid 30s, I assumed I’d be dead by the time I was 18. I was wrong. And on the occasion of my 18th birthday, with my hypothesis obliterated, the world became sunshine and rainbows and it was smooth sailing from then on.
That would make for a pretty boring story, wouldn’t it?
It’s about time I figure out how to talk about this stuff and if you’d like to read about it, you’ll find my thoughts here. Some of it will be disgusting, but hopefully it won’t be boring. If I get any questions along the way, I’ll do my best to answer them, though questions about that involve Iron Maiden, Swamp Thing or any of the Universal Monsters will receive priority. I mean, I’ll try to stay focused on CF, I just can’t make any promises.
Jay
It took me a really long time to come up with an appropriate analogy for what it’s like to have Cystic Fibrosis. I thought it might be nice to explain why I will run from cigarettes and keep a 10 foot radius between any sick person and myself. It’s not because I’m a snob or a germaphobe, but because by lungs are filled with Junior Bear Honey Flavored Syrup (available at your local Dollar Tree).