It’s just about time to start making videos again, but I thought that instead of talking about whatever I think people want to hear about, I should ask if there’s anything anyone really wants to know. So, if you have any questions, I’d love to hear them. I’m borderline impossible to offend, so feel free to ask anything. You can leave your question in the comments below, hit me up on Twitter @allhallowsevil or email me at jaygironimi AT gmail DOT com (just make the subject “Video Questions” or something like that).
Over the past week, my area has seen a lot of cold, miserable weather. And over the past few days–with appointments, work and general chicanery–I haven’t seen a lot of sleep. Also, my lungs feel like they’ve been building a collection of that thick run-off that gets left on the plate when you have ice cream cake. Though there’s a chance that they’re slowly building me an apology ice cream cake, I don’t know how they are going to deliver it, because nothing is moving down there. Continue reading →
Hi, my name is Jay and I have Cystic Fibrosis. A lot of you are reading this because you saw my article on Cracked.com today, so I thought it might be nice to weed through some of the bullshit here and put my best foot forward.
If you’re interested in hearing more about CF, you may want to check out this video I made:
If you don’t give two shits about CF, perhaps I can interest you in this video of me eating a steak from the dollar store:
Don’t have time for that? Here’s a 14 second jingle about Arby’s:
If you don’t feel like watching videos, you can always read about the time a large man at Hometown Buffet threatened to stab me with a sword:
This is pretty accurate to how I look if I’m up before noon.
Because I’m a creature being propelled through the world by science, I empathize with Frankenstein’s Monster. And even though I’m still operating with all my original parts, there are many a day when I feel stitched together from pre-putrescent parts picked from their plots (sorry for the alliteration—I’ve been reading a lot of old school Marvel) . Just a lumbering mass of limbs and tubes hurdling brutishly throughout the day. Continue reading →
This is pretty much how I remember every flu shot.
Needles are my spiders. Or snakes. Or coconut crabs (actually, coconut crabs are my coconut crabs). Needles are the thing in life that I don’t like. Everyone has something. So when I spent a Monday afternoon alone in the corner of a Denny’s, shooting up in front of a plate of nachos, I was really proud of myself. Continue reading →
Can’t Eat, Can’t Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis Has F#$%*d Me continues it’s inexorable march towards being everywhere books are sold. Here’s a list of places you can buy it right now.
This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to Christmas spirit.
In 2010, I started writing a “Helpful Holiday Hint” for every day in December leading up to Christmas. Other than a mild distaste for both the holidays and the type of bland advice peddled by Supermarket impulse buy magazines, I have no idea why I started, but people have enjoyed them enough that I’m still doing it now. I started by simply posting them on Facebook, but last year I took them to Twitter as well, which I think improved them significantly by limiting them to 140 characters. In any case, with the end finally in sight this year (it’s not easy to come up with a new joke every day, especially since I’ve already written 75 similar ones), here are some of my favorite hints from the past four seasons. If you want to catch them all, feel free to friend me on Facebook, follow @HelpfulHoliday on Twitter or even follow my personal Twitter account, where I tend to retweet the ones I’m proud of. Continue reading →
I lived the majority of my 20s like it was the bonus level of one of those arcade hunting games*. I never expected to make it that far, so rather than executing any kind of plan, I just randomly shot as many turkeys as I could. Whatever I could catch was—as the name implies—a bonus. Continue reading →
