Contrary to the cover, it is not a book for swingers.
If you have a Kindle or Kindle App having device, the digital version of my book is on sale for 99 cents for the next 19 hours. That’s a savings of 90% off the print list price! Click here for savings.
I don’t consider it a real holiday unless a corporation has found a way to brand it.
Halloween has come a long way since it’s inception. With its origins in the ancient pagan tradition of asking your neighbors for food, it is now celebrated by children across the nation as the one night they can take candy from strangers. But whether you’re a child looking for a sugar rush or an adult celebrating a pop culture icon by dressing up as a sexy version of it, here are a few tips to keep your Halloween super spooky. Continue reading
I took the money I would’ve spent on candy and decorations (for the record, $23.57) and shot this review of Halloween Crunch instead. If you like it, please share it/hand out links to trick or treaters.
If you really like it, don’t forget to pick up a copy of my book. There’s a chapter on Frankenstein, so it also makes a great item for trick or treaters. Full text of the review after the jump. Continue reading
I’d dress like that every day if I didn’t eat like an asshole.
Alice Cooper’s Welcome to My Nightmare is the greatest Halloween album ever made. It’s the AIP Poe Picture of albums, striking the perfect balance between fear and fun with a heavy emphasis on atmosphere. It’s often referred to as a concept album, but it’s really more of a theme album, with songs based around ideas rather than a story. Certainly, there are songs that tie together both thematically and musically, but the through line is ultimately unimportant. The feeling is what counts. Continue reading
I had a shirt with this on it for years until I realized that the fact that it said “20 Years of Terror 1978-1998” let everyone know exactly how old it was.
Yesterday, we talked about how the lack of music shaped one of my favorite films. Today, I’d like to talk about what the perfect score did for another favorite.
John Carpenter’s Halloween is a simple film. It’s the story of a boy who stabs his sister on Halloween night, then comes back 15 years later to stab some more people. He wears a mask. His doctor may be just as crazy as he his. That’s it. That’s all you need. Simple, but effective. Continue reading
Allow me to present my qualifications.
Any talk of whether or not Universal’s 1931 production of Frankenstein horrified audiences of the time is mostly speculation at this point—speculation surely tainted by Universal’s press department—but judging by what the censor boards did to it, someone, somewhere was fucking terrified. That somewhere was probably Kansas City, whose censor board cut the most, effectively halving the already brisk running time of 71 minutes. Continue reading
This was almost the cover of my book.
When I was younger, I thought that Jason Voorhees was living in my toilet, waiting to stab me in my asshole.
Maybe I should back up a bit here. Continue reading
Have you ever wanted to take a three and a half hour car ride where I do nothing but complain about my lungs? Well, you’re in luck! Can’t Eat, Can’t Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis has F#$%*d Me is now available in audiobook format on audible.com. I worked hard to make sure I read the absolute shit out of this book, so check it out if you get a chance. You can get it free with a 30 day free trial of Audible!
This could’ve just as easily been the cover of a collection of heartfelt songs about my mucus. Count yourself lucky that it’s not.
Here’s a trailer for my book, starring me, a dog and two bald eagles.
Here’s another batch of 3rd grade journal entries. If you missed the first round, you can catch up on them here. Again, these are reproduced as close to their original form—errors and all—as can be. Continue reading