I swear that was broken when I got there.

My book is now available on Amazon in both print and Kindle formats, with an audiobook version hitting sometime later this month. Like this blog, it’s called Can’t Eat, Can’t Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis Has F#$%*d Me. It’s about how Cystic Fibrosis has fucked me.

I encourage you to go to Amazon right now and try a sample; the first chapter is designed so that you’ll know right away if it’s for you or not. For those of you that don’t feel like clicking, here’s a few of my favorite lines:

Teaching you to smile and eat shit for 90 percent of your life is a great way to make it easier for people to feed you shit for the other 10 percent. -Chapter 1, Setting the Tone

Mucus can also cause trouble with the pancreas, blocking the flow of digestive enzymes and leading to that fiery orange liquid that erupted from my tiny asshole and, later, my larger asshole. -Chapter 3, My Origin Story

As a child, I was an easy mark for advertisements. As proof of this, I offer the fact that I’ve eaten more than one McDonald’s Pizza.  -Chapter 17, McPizza

If you’d like more, get your copy here. Or if you prefer to take a 3 and a half hour car ride where I do nothing but complain about my lungs, grab the audiobook here.

Still not convinced? Here’s a trailer