I’m a giant fucking production. At minimum, it takes me 8 pills and one injection to get ready to eat, which means it costs about $70 for me to even think about having dinner. (luckily I have insurance right now, so I’m not paying that directly). If I ever had to pay $70 for a meal, I’d crap myself in protest. Even if I decided not to eat today, it still costs roughly $60 for me to wake up. Sure, I could wake up and not do my pulmozyme, but it’s not worth it. Continue reading
In 2010, I started writing a “Helpful Holiday Hint” for every day in December leading up to Christmas. Other than a mild distaste for both the holidays and the type of bland advice peddled by Supermarket impulse buy magazines, I have no idea why I started, but people have enjoyed them enough that I’m still doing it now. I started by simply posting them on Facebook, but last year I took them to Twitter as well, which I think improved them significantly by limiting them to 140 characters. In any case, with the end finally in sight this year (it’s not easy to come up with a new joke every day, especially since I’ve already written 75 similar ones), here are some of my favorite hints from the past four seasons. If you want to catch them all, feel free to friend me on Facebook, follow @HelpfulHoliday on Twitter or even follow my personal Twitter account, where I tend to retweet the ones I’m proud of. Continue reading
Halloween has come a long way since it’s inception. With its origins in the ancient pagan tradition of asking your neighbors for food, it is now celebrated by children across the nation as the one night they can take candy from strangers. But whether you’re a child looking for a sugar rush or an adult celebrating a pop culture icon by dressing up as a sexy version of it, here are a few tips to keep your Halloween super spooky. Continue reading
I took the money I would’ve spent on candy and decorations (for the record, $23.57) and shot this review of Halloween Crunch instead. If you like it, please share it/hand out links to trick or treaters.
If you really like it, don’t forget to pick up a copy of my book. There’s a chapter on Frankenstein, so it also makes a great item for trick or treaters. Full text of the review after the jump. Continue reading