Monthly Archives: July 2013

Ghost, Pills and Spiky Purses

Here's an awesome shot of Papa Emeritus II from the "Monstrance Clock" video.

Here’s an awesome shot of Papa Emeritus II from the “Monstrance Clock” video.

I consider myself to be a man of varied musical tastes, though I certainly have my preferred genres. One of my favorite genres is “people with electric guitars singing about the devil.” Some bands—Iron Maiden, the Rolling Stones, even Ugly Kid Joe—dabble in the genre, but the band Ghost is all in and I love them for it. Catchy rock songs played by an anonymous clergy and sung by an undead pope will get me every time. Continue reading

Video: A Brief History of Airway Clearance

As a follow up to the Honey Lungs video, I thought it would be nice to give a brief history of the techniques and devices I’ve used for airway clearance. Unfortunately, even a brief history of airway clearance can run long, so I broke the video up into four parts. Now you can enjoy me forcing the mucus out of my lungs on a schedule that works for you!

Continue reading

The Existential Lie of Death Valley Rally

Death Valley Rally Cover Art

At some point in your life, you will be presented with information that does not coincide with your already cemented beliefs and you will completely ignore it. It will have nothing to do with the veracity of this information. It just won’t seem right to you, so you will ignore it. There will also be a point that you will be presented with something that so completely lines up with what you already believe that you will carve it onto two stones and carry it up the mountain. Everyone does it. They even have a name for it: confirmation bias. Continue reading

Video: Pasta Heals the Sick

I love infomercials. They’re not trying to sneak an ad past you with a catchy song or a funny talking animal. They are unabashedly trying to sell you something using good ol’ fashioned hucksterism. Ronco has consistently produced my favorite infomercials for much of my life. I’ve never actually tried one of their products, but I watch the advertisements religiously. So, to make myself laugh, I mashed up the pasta maker infomercial with footage of a televangelist. It worked.

Video: Waterpik SinuSense Review

I call this a “review” but its really just me shoving a motorized neti pot up my nose. This round of sinus rinse is pretty clean, but the first time I used it I’m pretty sure it moved snots from 1993. If you have stubborn sinus tenants, this is just the thing to move them along.

I Bid You Welcome


Hi, my name is Jay and I have Cystic Fibrosis.

I hate that sentence, so I’ve been forcing myself to use it. I’ve never hid the disease, but I haven’t talked about it a lot either.

I’m not so much reluctant to talk about CF as I am ignorant of how to talk about it. One wrong turn and you’ve ended up at a melodramatic pity party; I don’t care for parties, pity or otherwise. Go the other way and you’ve made yourself sound like an inspirational champion. I assure you that would be incorrect.

I recently turned 30, which has a lot to do with my newfound need to share. Being that the median life expectancy for individuals with CF is somewhere in the mid 30s, I assumed I’d be dead by the time I was 18. I was wrong. And on the occasion of my 18th birthday, with my hypothesis obliterated, the world became sunshine and rainbows and it was smooth sailing from then on.

That would make for a pretty boring story, wouldn’t it?

It’s about time I figure out how to talk about this stuff and if you’d like to read about it, you’ll find my thoughts here. Some of it will be disgusting, but hopefully it won’t be boring. If I get any questions along the way, I’ll do my best to answer them, though questions about that involve Iron Maiden, Swamp Thing or any of the Universal Monsters will receive priority. I mean, I’ll try to stay focused on CF, I just can’t make any promises.


Video: Honey Lungs – Living with Cystic Fibrosis

It took me a really long time to come up with an appropriate analogy for what it’s like to have Cystic Fibrosis. I thought it might be nice to explain why I will run from cigarettes and keep a 10 foot radius between any sick person and myself. It’s not because I’m a snob or a germaphobe, but because by lungs are filled with Junior Bear Honey Flavored Syrup (available at your local Dollar Tree).